road runners theory

I read somewhere that you can tell what kind of driver someone is by how they drive their shopping cart around the store.

Or maybe it was a John Stossel news segment? Can't remember.

Either way, I completely agree with that theory. The crazies on the road will be the crazies in the supermarket. The ones that cut you off outside will be the ones cutting you off as you try to reach for the Ovaltine.

What? You don't like Ovaltine? You need to buy the one with the blue label. The other kind is the malt flavor and it is crap. Blue label. Remember that.

Well, I've come up with my own little theory that will change the way you drive. Having spent about a million miles running on roads without sidewalks, I have come to the very scientific conclusion that you can tell what kind of a person is driving, by how they drive by the person running.

See? It already sounds scientific.

For safety reasons, a person running should always run on the left-hand side of the road, running towards traffic. That way you can see the crazies coming your way and not after they've hit you and you are on your back, looking up at sky thinking, "Fergie does kind of look like a Stacey."

Here's the different types of drivers that I've come up with so far:

1-drivers who stop and wait for you to run by
2-drivers who completely drive into the other lane to pass by
3-drivers who slow down and roll on by
4-drivers who have a set of wheels in both lanes, middle of the road
5-drivers who don't stray from the lane whatsoever
6-jack@$$es who actually see how close they can get to you

And here's what kind of people they are:

1-people who are truly concerned for the safety of others and go the extra mile
2-people who care about others and think about what they can do to help
3-people who are going somewhere, but still have pause to help and lift another...
4-people who want to be nice, but not overly nice
5-people who don't really care what happens
6-jack@$$es who deserve to have their vehicle keyed and tires slashed

Like I said, very scientific.

One time, this older gentleman stopped and gave me the "Meet the Parents" stare. Pointed his two fingers at his eyes and then at me, just to make sure he knew, that I knew, that he knew, he saw me. Nice guy.

And then on the other end of the list, the bozo driving the older white sedan, who actually swerved towards me, making me jump down into the irrigation ditch to avoid being hit. I think I even shook my fist at him. Or was it my finger?

So my word of advice to you is to be kind and thoughtful as you drive pass a runner on the road. How you do could reflect on what kind of person you really are.