give it a chance

I've been going through a bit of bloggers block.

I could post picture after picture of my fantastically beautiful children. But even I would get bored of that much cuteness.

And the best reason I can come up with for not posting is that I have four kids. Five if you count the husband.

Having a baby changes everything. And each addition to the family changes the dynamics in very different ways.

With your first it's all about that baby. No attention is needed elsewhere. Only one little person to haul around and play with. Except having to give the husband a shout-out every once in awhile so he won't feel completely neglected. Baby number one is cake walk.

Baby number dos isn't all that hard either. It didn't even seem like we had two kids except for feedings that I had to be there for. It's still not too hard to go shopping or to church. One kid per adult. Easy peasy. Again with the shout-outs to the husband.

Then the third is a bit more crazy. Not the baby itself, but the older kids. They want everything to do with the new one. Limits and boundaries need to be set up to ensure a more happy home. And maybe more "mommy time", to ensure the sanity of she who is with them all day, everyday. And of course, never forgetting about that husband. Holla.

So now we're on number four. And I have quit praying for patience. Because isn't that what you're tested on? The thing you're praying for? There have been times when I have patiently been waiting for that patience to come without luck. A few occasions have me feeling like the the older two are doing everything they can to not do what they know they should or should not be doing. ((and i know they know)) They have turned into the enemy and I have started praying for my enemy. And the shout-outs to the husband are more like an upward nod of the head, recognizing him as the one who got us where we are.

Of course I love my family. Very much. They are what make me happy. Even when we're altogether for the 3 1/2 hours in the evening under our increasingly shrinking roof, those are my happy times. It may seem like a stage four hurricane with the varying decibels in our voices and whirlwind of kids running about. But somewhere, and I know this to be true, somewhere in there is the eye of that storm, where peace exists and there is calm. And this is what gives me the strength to get up each morning and do it all again. I know that this is why I am here. And why I need to be a better wife and mother. I am not needed outside my home. I need to be home with my children helping them learn and grow. Creating a safe place for them to be loved. And I need to be home serving my husband. Making sure I'm supporting him so that he can be a good husband and father and support me. That way we can be better parents and examples for our children to look up to and be in awe of our awesome zen-like peacefulness.

peace.
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.
((unknown))