blotter patrol

We live in what some people call a "small town".


The nearest Target or Walmart is just over 30 mins away.


The nearest airport is 2 hours, either direction.


About the same for the closest temple.


Sometimes it's easy to forget how we live a nice, comfy bubble, seemingly untouched by the demons of bigger metropolis towns.


And then we read the police blotter in the newspaper, and we're reminded that we still do live in a one-horse town.


The following are actual incidences people dialed 9-1-1 to report.


Laugh-on, friends. 


-A man reported that he was having trouble getting the title to a vehicle he recently purchased and the last owner sent him a text message advising that she was going to report the vehicle stolen.


-A neighbor reportedly was trying to push the door of a house on River Avenue.


-A cow reportedly was loose on No. 6 Road.


-A dog reportedly tried to kill a chicken on Manastash Road.


-A man on Chestnut Street wearing a leather jacket and gloves reportedly was acting strangely, being belligerent and boasting that he had done time.


-Four dogs reportedly were covered in porcupine quills on Burbank Creek Road.


-A woman on Colockum Road reported receiving a suspicious call from a woman who said she would send a national health card and needed the some information.


-A person reportedly attempted to flag down a driver on Bullfrog Road near Roslyn.


-A person on Cowboy Lane reportedly needed a pilot light relit.


-A red US Cellular flip phone reportedly was lost on North Ruby Street.


-Loud voices were reported on First Street.


-A German shepherd reportedly was barking for five hours on South Poplar Stree


-A man with long hair and a beard reportedly was yelling at people inside a business on University Way and talking about the end of the world and telling them they all were going to die.


....and the most frightening of all....


-A puppy reportedly was seen running up a path at Central Washington University.